Love Lust 'n Life

Sunday, June 25, 2006

So! What does he really mean?

What does he really mean?

There are times when I wonder if men and women should be together at all. In spite of our need for each other women never understand men...

But wait a minute; it's not the language, we just say things in a totally different way.

Now for the benefit of all you girls out there here is a very helpful list of things we men say and what we really mean when we say them. It may even assist in my endeavours and aspirations for the Nobel peace prize.

1 I’m not ready for a relationship.(This is a classic)

He means: I am always ready for a relationship with the girl of my dreams. But unfortunately you are not the one. Wanna know how to become the woman of his dreams?!

2 I can’t forget my ex. Be careful here he is probably still seeing her.

He means if I against all odds I should say that- then I really haven’t forgotten her. Will never give you everything. I want to cover my bets by going for everything in the hope of winning something and not loosing anything. For your own good: leave me!
Strange this always makes you girls even keener to be the one who tames me.

3 We’ll keep in touch.

He means: This is an attempt to be a hard catch or to wriggle out. Wait at least three days before you get in touch and don’t even send a little sms.If you then decide to get in touch and are met with silence. I am not interested.

4 What are you up to? (A little sms 2 o clock in the morning).

He means: I’m head over heels in love with you, ready to tattoo your name on my arse, kiss your feet, worship you forever and wear your ring.

But if it’s a Saturday night at 2 am it means nothing more than” Fancy shag?”
It also means that I’m drunk and am not worth a light in bed.

5 Nice Jeans

He means and: lets not beat about the bush here, that you have a fantastic arse and would love to get his hands on it. Enough said.

6 I’ll call;

He means: and read my lips, “I will call you”. That means that I don’t want you to call me. If you call it gives the impression of you being over interested and if I want to call I will. But I would prefer to see you out somewhere.

7 I would never lie to you.

He means; Of course I would. But to be so bloody silly and confess to that would release a monster and endless discussions. I fib about small things like “you look great without make-up” to I was home all night (when I was out with the boys).
Nothing malicious meant other than an attempt to keep the peace.

8 Just friends?

He means: I’m not interested in you as a girl friend and I’m just saying it this way to make it easier. I have never managed to keep a girl as just a friend and this is a great way to drizzle away. But thanks for the sex.

9 What have I done wrong?

He means I have nothing better to say and don’t enjoy silence. Maybe I’ve made a complete jerk of myself or am completely innocent. You can also comfort me and tell me how much you care for me and see that I need reassurance. Look for the head drop and the pout.

10 That guy looked straight at you and smiled.

He means: Tell me that you only have eyes for me. I wouldn’t be bothered if the guy was drunk or ugly but he was a real hunk- and he undressed you with his eyes. Just convince me that you only want to be with me. You didn’t smile back did you? Why did he do that? Do you know him?

Well I hope that helps you girls to understand a little better. Just so we can make life easier.
We also don’t mind if you get a round of drinks from time to time. Become The Irresistible Woman today!

This research was carried out independently and has no bearing what so ever on my life or my experiences. You don’t really believe I would resort to this type of behaviour do you?

No I have kept myself above all this. Women and I have always had a complete understanding. Ask any of my seven wives and six hundred and twenty two girlfriends.


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Sunday, June 04, 2006

How to be the irresistible woman

Just the other day and I haven't the faintest reason why, I was asked the most unanswered question in the world. No it wasn't who came first, the chicken or the egg. I dealt with that one already. I suppose for those of you that don’t know I had better get it out of the way first.The chicken and the egg had been making love. The chicken rolled over, lit a cigarette and sighed "ah well that’s answered that question".

Now, the other most requested information is "what makes the woman that men adore?"

Women actually do care enough to ask "what it is that captivates a man". This really took me some time before I could arrive at some form of answer. I mean with the exception of blind physical attraction there are other attributes that make some women stand head and shoulders above the rest.

I guess it depends on how warped the mans mind is but generally we want a partner for life and if that’s not possible at least one we can be proud of in any company. Blatant bad taste or flaunting of breasts is something that men deep down laugh at.

A woman who is stylish, elegant, articulate, erudite and beautiful wins hands down over the busty, giggly little tart type.
Men will go with this sort of woman in secret. But would rarely want to be seen with in smart company...I guess that’s true of women also in the reverse situation.

A woman that keeps herself enigmatic, who has the allure that you always want to find out more about is the one that the smart clever man will always go for. A woman who is loud with nothing to say is a turn off!

You women probably ask yourselves in your relationships; Why didn’t he call? Why do I always date losers? What I am I doing wrong? How can I find the right man? Etc. The answer is of course you get what you give off.
If you give the impression of being a tart you will get the man that wants a tart.

Men don’t want overly fashionable women! As fashion changes so will your relationship.
Style on the other hand never goes out of fashion.

Dare to be yourself rather than what someone on the reality shows tells you. If you are following "the fashions" too much then there are thousands with the same look. Make sense?

You have all seen that some women are the women that all men desire and want to be in love with. You all have it within you. It's not magic it's a skill that the most desirable women have learned. These kind of women know how to create the allure with the best men and know how to keep the mystery alive. If you havn't got it, don't worry anyone can learn it. I would suggest you get a copy of "The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave" by Bob Grant.

Don’t spend your time asking your girl friends about your relationships or turning to the magazines. Just because your girl friend has had similar experiences doesn't mean her advice applies to you and remember the magazines are written for girls by girls. Ever thought about asking someone who really knows about these things? Too expensive to get advice professionally? Well it isn't!

Ever ask yourself why your boyfriend isn't talking to you? So you get on the phone to your friend wondering why you were getting the silent treatment and what you had done to provoke it and what you need to do to get him talking again. All this while the boyfriend was worrying about getting the car ready to take you out. Just shows how little you know about men.

There are three sentences that you should learn that will ensure that he cannot get you out of his mind.

Stop guessing what men want and trying to figure it out. Get the information and read them like a book forever.

We men are a walk over for the women that have these enigmatic, mysterious powers. If you havn't got it yet, here is your chance to finally understand us men! Click Here!StumbleUpon My StumbleUpon Page


Thursday, May 25, 2006

The idea of love

I have often written about pursuing things that may or may not exist for everyone. "Love and Happiness" being high on the list. I have been a supporter of the "get as much joy out of everyday as is possible" principal.

However, there are occasions when one needs to re-evaluate and take stock of the life we lead.
Once again it was the very enigmatic and thought provoking Joan who, when articulating her philosophy on "love" gave rise to my latest tome, for what it's worth.

We are, as children brought up on wonderful stories of Cinderella, Snow White and the others.
Walt Disney has very ably created these wonderful images and imprinted on us are the "damsel in distress and the handsome prince on a white horse saving her". Shakespeare, Byron, Joyce the world is full of great romantic writers. But for who did they write?

Even the Bible has some romance in it! Which confirms my view of it being a piece of romantic fantasy. The difference being that the hero always dies leaving the poor heroine in a state of dismay with a head covered in sack cloth and ashes.

The modern romantic films and the wonderful songs that accompany them give rise to the very hubris of our thoughts on love and happiness.
I have been guilty of interpreting these songs in my career as a singer. May I say how much pleasure I derived getting paid enormously for doing something that gave me so much. I hope that the audiences that paid to listen, got their moneys worth.

My point here is "the love" was for the music, that in it's turn created a love amongst the audience. A bringing together of a joy of the love of music.
How wonderful is music? Everywhere in the World it unites people of like minds with the mutual love of melody and harmony.

I have to be careful here not to get carried away, otherwise readers may think I have become a romantic and have lost my anarchistic tendencies.
But there you are again. Even anarchists are romantics.Where does it derive?

Why does "love" have to bring so much suffering with it. Or is that how a good story would have us believe. Look at some of the examples. The film "Ghost". He dies she mourns. "Love Story". She dies he mourns.

Why do we have this inherent need to be sadly in love. Continually in tears when we witness what the film and music industry of today and the romantic authors and composers of yesterday offer as being a look at love?
I mean according to this lot if we are not in a state of longing and cant live without him/her then it's not worth having.

I dont know. I guess I will just have to take my chances with my wonderful woman Malin.

What good is love when your sure of tomorrow? Can there be love where there has been no sorrow? Would you find there is really such a thing as peace of mind? And what we thought was living was really just confusion. A chance to live forever was really just illusion. But this all can be ours, why cant we make ourselves believe it?

One last thought why are all the beautiful love songs so sad?StumbleUpon My StumbleUpon Page


Love and all it's joy

My ramblings and rantings about faith, God, love and destiny are meant to be provocative but no harm is meant. I feel if we don’t question and keep the bastards honest then we will become robotic with no allowance for our own narrative.

I wrote that "love" is something we should not pursue because it may not exist or one might never find it. Imagine the disappointment of living your whole life and not realising or knowing whether or not you have found love?

My way of looking at things is to get and give as much joy as possible everyday. Now some may argue that that in its self is a form of "love”. I’m just not comfortable with putting handles on what should be everyone’s attitude to being. Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

Unfortunately Byron and Shakespeare gave rise to what we perceive as love in their rantings (I use the word advisedly). See post Love is in the Air Sunday, April 16. You see it's like "destiny”. If you believe in destiny then everything is already mapped out for you, isn't it? So you become lazy. You don’t need to contribute much if you believe in destiny. Which is why we have so much mediocrity in the world, (if we even aspire to that). What botters me is there is now more of an elite few that makes the decisions (an oxymoronic but artistic license is allowed eh?) We have come to accept that there is nothing we can do about it 'cause it's "destiny".

Joan, nothing wrong with altruism, live every day that way. The one common belief that guides all religions is altruism, isn’t it? You know when people don’t understand they throw insults and fists. We should all try a little more understanding and tolerance. Me included! You know, just between you and I Joan, I enjoy playing the devils advocate. May your God go with you.

But Joan and all you other wonderful people that wrote such kind words and dare "to be" keep thinking, challenging and loving ('cause I do have that too). Take good care and stay happy. I haven’t asked for permission but Joan I publish your narrative to others as an inspiration.

"Dear Baldchemist, Thank you for your wonderful writings. I do admire your mind and humor. I am one who has searched for God most of my 68 years. I found your web page while I was researching for one of my writing projects. I loved your essay about our future. Could part of the survival of human kind also depend upon the actual living of ones life based upon love, love of self and of others? Love can not be completely defined and cannot be seen - only the influence of love is seen - so it is? Can the Neptune discovery method, The unknown/unseen can be divined by its impact upon that which can be observed, be applied to God? Can you define love? Have you experienced love? A friend of mine once defined love as: "Love is the habit of mind and will that requires one to secure the highest good of the one loved." There are many kinds and degrees of love we residents of the earth experience. We have parental love, neighborly love, romantic love, animal pals we love and things we love and so on. All love requires us to help keep the loved one well. I have learned that to love unconditionally, allowing the loved one freedom, is the highest form of love experienced by me - alturistic or? One more question for your fine mind, is there one common belief that guides all religions? If you know of one what might it be? It saddened me to see that fearful people insulted you. Fear is most likely the opposite of love as is, some say, apathy.

Well that was Joan. That is what love an tolerance is about. Keep loving without any particular reason.

See you soon.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Love is in the air

General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed- but i don't see that- seems to me that love is everywhere. Igniting laughter, wreaking havoc, breaking hearts, daring commitments, forcing choices, catapolting spirits, forging inroads creating risks- ecstatic, unexpected,unwelcome, inconvienient, inexplicable, inelegant, unequalled love.
Totally uncluttered by dogma. Wonderful !StumbleUpon My StumbleUpon Page