So! What does he really mean?

What does he really mean?

There are times when I wonder if men and women should be together at all. In spite of our need for each other women never understand men...

But wait a minute; it's not the language, we just say things in a totally different way.

Now for the benefit of all you girls out there here is a very helpful list of things we men say and what we really mean when we say them. It may even assist in my endeavours and aspirations for the Nobel peace prize.

1 I’m not ready for a relationship.(This is a classic)

He means: I am always ready for a relationship with the girl of my dreams. But unfortunately you are not the one. Wanna know how to become the woman of his dreams?!

2 I can’t forget my ex. Be careful here he is probably still seeing her.

He means if I against all odds I should say that- then I really haven’t forgotten her. Will never give you everything. I want to cover my bets by going for everything in the hope of winning something and not loosing anything. For your own good: leave me!
Strange this always makes you girls even keener to be the one who tames me.

3 We’ll keep in touch.

He means: This is an attempt to be a hard catch or to wriggle out. Wait at least three days before you get in touch and don’t even send a little sms.If you then decide to get in touch and are met with silence. I am not interested.

4 What are you up to? (A little sms 2 o clock in the morning).

He means: I’m head over heels in love with you, ready to tattoo your name on my arse, kiss your feet, worship you forever and wear your ring.

But if it’s a Saturday night at 2 am it means nothing more than” Fancy shag?”
It also means that I’m drunk and am not worth a light in bed.

5 Nice Jeans

He means and: lets not beat about the bush here, that you have a fantastic arse and would love to get his hands on it. Enough said.

6 I’ll call;

He means: and read my lips, “I will call you”. That means that I don’t want you to call me. If you call it gives the impression of you being over interested and if I want to call I will. But I would prefer to see you out somewhere.

7 I would never lie to you.

He means; Of course I would. But to be so bloody silly and confess to that would release a monster and endless discussions. I fib about small things like “you look great without make-up” to I was home all night (when I was out with the boys).
Nothing malicious meant other than an attempt to keep the peace.

8 Just friends?

He means: I’m not interested in you as a girl friend and I’m just saying it this way to make it easier. I have never managed to keep a girl as just a friend and this is a great way to drizzle away. But thanks for the sex.

9 What have I done wrong?

He means I have nothing better to say and don’t enjoy silence. Maybe I’ve made a complete jerk of myself or am completely innocent. You can also comfort me and tell me how much you care for me and see that I need reassurance. Look for the head drop and the pout.

10 That guy looked straight at you and smiled.

He means: Tell me that you only have eyes for me. I wouldn’t be bothered if the guy was drunk or ugly but he was a real hunk- and he undressed you with his eyes. Just convince me that you only want to be with me. You didn’t smile back did you? Why did he do that? Do you know him?

Well I hope that helps you girls to understand a little better. Just so we can make life easier.
We also don’t mind if you get a round of drinks from time to time. Become The Irresistible Woman today!

This research was carried out independently and has no bearing what so ever on my life or my experiences. You don’t really believe I would resort to this type of behaviour do you?

No I have kept myself above all this. Women and I have always had a complete understanding. Ask any of my seven wives and six hundred and twenty two girlfriends.

BC

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